Pointing forward

We were weary of the finger-pointing we witnessed in environmental activism, which we felt drained human dignity and, frankly, slowed down what could be magnificent progress in designing a healthier world.

- William McDonough and Michael Braungart, The Upcycle

My initial plan for this post was to describe how I've recently distinguished this past year as a somber time for me. At nearly any given moment I could've likely thought my way into feeling a number of ways:

• Sad that some of the things I care about (like human and environmental health, for example) will likely regress under the Trump administration.
• Angry that Trump gets to win when I judge him to be a self-righteous, self-ingratiating, arrogant, and duplicitous bully.
• Daunted that the best solution to what I deem are our problems is to improve education nationally.
• Frustrated that the only seemingly effective action I can take is to vote.
• Annoyed by my judgment that Trump's win was a win for ignorance and greed.

In response to all those feelings, I continually read my feeds from like-minded people who articulated the issues more clearly than I could even think them. I retweeted and shared and complained (and tried to show off how accurate my learned analyses were). 

I claimed that I would never call him "President Trump". Yes, I sanctimoniously asserted that Trump is not worthy of the title.

Well, he's our president, President Trump.

I couldn't bring myself to start that post because I didn't have a punchline in mind. I outlined all the parts, but I couldn't tie it up with a sufficient ending, a personal stepping stone into a more inspired future. All the punchlines I could think of were just more of the same - complaints, frustrations, cynicism poorly veiled in unconvincing optimism.

Recently I was visited at school by a former student who is now in his third year of college. We get together to talk a couple times each year, and we both really enjoy our conversations and e-mail correspondence. (He's inspired a few of the posts on this blog.) We talked about his classes and spiritual growth. When he asked me about my classes and spiritual growth, I said that this school year has been challenging for me and that it recently clicked that it's related to the past year in politics and my school being a pretty politically conservative place.

He asked a couple insightful questions that had me own my experience and my future more than I have been willing to in a while. He reminded me in the conversation of an insight from a course I took that straightens me up each time I remember it:

Whenever I feel stuck, frustrated, or angry, 
I'm avoiding being responsible.

I've been pointing my finger at others over the past year. It's Trump, it's his supporters, it's our education system, it's consumerism, it's racism, it's greed. I've been thinking that I'm stuck, that we're headed into a bleak future, and that my kids and people and life that I care about will ultimately suffer for it. All the while I neglected to foster a version of the unwritten future that actually inspires me.

Reacting is not creative. 
Resistance is not progress.

My willingness to point my finger at others is what left me in the seemingly uncomfortable, though quite safe and common, position of being at the effect of it all. What my friend had me see was that there's another person I can point to to claim responsibility: me. 

How he did it was to ask me what I'm doing to create the world I want. Through the dreary filter of 'This is wrong' I wasn't pointing forward to a world I want at all - I was only indignantly pointing at other people around me.

I wasn't pointing forward. Forward to a version of the world that inspires me. Forward to a world worth living for. Forward to a world I get to excitedly, passionately, gratifyingly give my life to.

Forward to a world where the children of all species are acknowledged, respected, and given the best possible chance at a healthy and fulfilling life.

"Everyone is interested in a cleaner, healthier world."

- WM and MB, The Upcycle