Initially this "caring" showed up as an anxiety that there's a grim future out there for my kids and that I'm powerless to change it. I hung out in anxiety for about six months.
Then I got that my fear was solely the result of a negative fantasy of the future, and that the fear helps me avoid being responsible for doing something, an excuse to avoid being uncomfortable.
This week while talking with students I referenced climate change denier Ted Cruz and the super PAC donation of $15 million by a couple billionaire brothers who frack in Texas.* I said that if I were offered $15 million to deny climate change that I would do it too. I don't really know if I would. Probably. Maybe not?
It's now not out of fear that I am taking actions for the future. I may screw up as a dad and yell too much or boss too much or guilt too much sometimes, but I will squeeze myself through whatever ontological obstacles arise between me and giving everything I've got for a family, community, society, and world worthy of the purity of heart, mind, and body of these holy creatures I get to call my kids. My comfort isn't worth selling out on that.
I "care" a lot. But caring doesn't create a brighter future. Actions do that.
* http://www.cnn.com/2015/07/25/politics/ted-cruz-wilks-brothers/. Fracking, an example of extreme extraction due to its immediate impact on the environment and human water supplies, is a "cleaner" option than oil because natural gas emits half the CO2 of other fossil fuels. However, fracking is no transition fuel because it unavoidably releases waste methane into the atmosphere, which is a more potent green house gas than CO2.
No comments:
Post a Comment